5 things to avoid

1. The Kiev metro system during rush hour:

The population of the Ukrainian capital has more than trebled in the forty years since the metro system was built but the metro itself remains largely unchanges and consists of three lines intersecting around the city centre. As a consequence it can become hopelessly overcrowded during peak traffic hours at 08.00-09.00 and 17.00-19.00

2. Queuing:

Despite years of standing in endless Soviet bread queues (or perhaps as a result of them) there is simply no etiquette at all when it comes to modern Ukrainian queuing and any attempts to form an orderly line will inevitably end in frustration and anger

3. Globus underground shopping mall:

I thought you came to Kiev to get off the beaten track? This subterranean temple of consumerism was a wonder of modernity when it first opened in 2001 but despite local excitement it remains an identikit venue which could conceivably have been plucked lock, stock and barrel from any other modern European capital city 

4. Any form of official bureaucracy:

The Soviet Union lives on in the thousands of mini-Brezhnevs who continue to cling to their positions within the many layers of the bloated and sprawling state administration. Rumour has it that they actually thrive on the sadistic pleasure of watching arrogant Westerners stuttering and squirming through piles of meaningless red tape

5. Vodka:

Locals grew up with the stuff (called ‘Horilka’ in Ukrainian) and have a capacity to drink endless toasts which few foreigners can match. This is best left well alone if you want to recall anything about your time in the country

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